My birthday!!

My Birthday !! I am at work. It is normal for me to work on my birthday.

My birthday’s are more like brining memories of my AMMA. I didn’t really celebrate my birthday after she left me. Thanks some good friends around me, they celebrated my birthday to make me happy.

Yesterday I went to meet one my family friend. They invited me and family to lunch and we went to a nice Italian restaurant near to their house. After lunch the waiter bought cake and placed in front of me. For a second I thought is someone else birthday in their family. Thanks to my sense social media presence I understood that it is my birthday celebration. It is big thing that I am knowing someone is caring me.

I didn’t show more emotion to them but I said a heartfelt thanks to Naveen chettan and family. I don’t how they can treat others happiness like theirs. It may be because they are good heart and both husband and wife think alike. Definitely, they are my role models. I have only one prayer to God I should get chance to serve them when Naveen chettan and family are in need.

Sitara is happiest person. She got good food, our daughter eat well before our food served. Same time she likes to see I am celebrating my birthday.

Last few days. I feel like my AMMA passed away again. I never felt that she moved away from me. I have enough good memories with me to carry. Alway, I felt like she is there somewhere and seeing me. My friends and others who know me won’t see me being emotional. But at heart I am very emotional these days. Today I want to cry and cry loud, it is hard to do as I haven’t done ever since she passed away.

My daughter doesn’t have her grandmother to get loved and cared. My wife doesn’t have a mother in law to learn / know about my childhood.

I am calling my daughter with my mother name. That may be the reason for me to bring her memories again and again. I have to accept the fact that my mother is no more there to play with my little Sumani.

My mother was a busy person. She was a working woman. She had to prepare breakfast and lunch before she goes to work. We didn’t have gas stove to cook. She had to cook with wood fire. This was when I was in my 3^rd standard. My school was near to home but I used carry lunch box daily. There other students from neighborhood used to go back home from their lunch. My brother was studying in a school away from home; he has to take bus to school. On my birthday that year, she didn’t packed my lunch box. She told in my ears that come back home for lunch. She is preparing Payasam for my birthday.

That is best memory of my birthday, that day I didn’t realize how she has managed to make Payasam. As a kid, I was not bothered. Since I started helping Situ at kitchen I know how hard to make payasam is using wood fire, very less time in hand and using hand to squeeze coconut.  

Today people around me are wishing my birthday. Thanks to facebook, my birthday have lot more popularity than before. Thanks to all for your kind heart especially Naveen Chettan and family.

I was very much a mother’s child. She used choose my cloths, take decisions for me. When I was in kinder garden I was struggling to write ‘8’ as my small finger was not ready to take a donut turn. Amma gave me short cut. I know how to write zero. She asked me to draw two small zeros one above the other. That gives me an inspiration to look for alternate solution for any issues.

Now I can’t burn out my tears for any small issues, I know to choose my cloths, I can eat anything, I can mingle with people, I started facing the world my own. All these happened because; my dependency with her is lost. I become more an independent. Thank God, I lost her. I have started doing things my own.