It was 8 PM, I have completed my shift and running to catch my cab. I had to cross Bangalore Airport road, fully packed traffic. waiting at Zebra line with my friend, Geeta and others people. We had two buildings opposite each other. The cab services were only from our opposite building, main building with more employees work out of that building. There was a traffic policeman, trying manage traffic. Stopping vehicle and allowing pedestrians to cross the road. Our mail room boy, Micheal who was in his bicycle also trying to cross the road with us. Some reason traffic policeman got angry at Micheal and stopped him. Pulled air from his bicycle tyre. It was unnecessary. Geeta pointed out to me to go and stop the policeman. I didnt help, Michael. Instead, forced Geeta to hurry up to catch the cab.
It disturbed me, through out my journey back home. Geeta had the courage to stop policeman and empathy to help Micheal. I didnt have any empathy. Why didnt I help?
It was my fear of speaking to policeman. What language, I would speak ? English or Kannada ? I was not fluent in both. That was the fear, I ran away from helping Michael. I felt so bad after this incident. The policeman, understood that Michael is a small boy working in a small job. So policeman unnecessary, taken out his frastration at work or saddist joy. Whatever it was, if spoke from Micheal that day, Traffic Policeman would have spared him.
It has stayed with me for years, I knew clearly, why did I kept my silence. It was my fear of speaking up. I knew I cant run away from this fear. I was lossing the respect for myself. I always want to protect justice. I have done that during my college time. When college broke a promise to offer us a specialization. I raised my voice and finally college understood my genivine voice. Finally my voice was heard and saved the ambition of all students. Even then I did fight with same language skill. What happened? I have looked at my change in playing for safety.
Time passed, career moved on and promoted as manager. As manager, I had the responsibilty to deliver my responsibilities my company. Same time, I had to protect my team interest. I have learned lesson from Michael's incident and I know, how bad I felt after that episode. I never wanted to feel the same from then on.
I have ensured to protect my team. But if my team member was at fault, I was not at all a good person at 1on1.
Life is a journey with a lot of learnings. if you do mistake and it hurt you, that will be a big learning and you may not repeat further
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