My interpretations for good feeling !!

I want to write about something which I never felt like this before in my short span of life. I am not a person who have a disciplined way of worship. It is common with hindu families that no one will force you to worship, its all upto the individual. Like every hindu family my parents never forced me worship any god in my chilhood. but my parents used to insist the temple visit and they used visit temple or worship the god always. These days when I grow up my father started emphasizing the importance of praying and going to temple.

He won’t force me but he says that I should visit temple and should have a regular worship. This time when visited my home, father checked with me whether I went to our home town temple. I didn’t, skip from my mind. Actually my home town is in the name of a goddess. That temple is in the middle of the town. Our house is just behind that temple. My parents always wanted a house which should walk able from the temple. When we bought our present house that was a dream comes true for my father.

My father starts his day by visiting this temple since he grow up. Of course he expect his children to visit there regularly.  These days he started telling me the importance of visiting temple and even I realize that. But my level of disciple or determination is not enough for that.

First day at home this time I missed to visit temple. And I had a long chat with my father almost till in mid night 12, not about worship. I told him that I want to go to Guruvayoor temple which is 1 hour from my place. Very powerful god we worship that god as the way we worship our Kodungallor goddess (home town goddess).

The first bus to their starts at 4:45 am and father ask me start little early so I could visits my Kodungallor goddess before starting the journey.  I have kept the alarm for 4:00 am and slept.

I didn’t wake up as expected at 4:00 am. My father came at 4:30 am and wake me up. Somehow I got up and get ready by 5:30 am and start my journey. I have taken the book of Vishnu incantation and a note book for writing ‘Narayana’ chant. I have started writing Narayana in a note book from my fathers last visit to my place around 6 months back.  

I went to Kodungallor temple first and taken bus to guruvayoor at 6:00 am. I did sleep and throughout my journey and chant Narayana in the bus. Bus conductor didn’t even ask money from me. Finally just before reaching Guruvayoor I have called him and gave money. thank god I didnt forget that.

Around 7 am I have reached Guruvayoor, immediately I eat breakfast before going to temple from a hotel I have seen first.

When reach in front of temple I could see a long queue and realized that it wont move fast. I went to the queue and check with temple police man who was controlling crowd that how long it would take to reach inside the temple. He told me that there is a special worship happening in the temple within an hour and before starting this worship I could only cover half of the queue. During that worship time queue will be stopped and that will last for half an hour or so. Then from there queue will move fast it seems. I have decided to go inside the temple where we could sit pray but to enter the place where god’s idol located I have to come back to queue.

I was in half mind on coming back to queue as it is tiresome task. I have planned to reading Vishnu incantation fully and writing some pages of Narayana.  I went inside the temple, found a place to sit and chanted Vishnu incantation. Once I have completed half way of Vishnu incantation one grandma came and sat next to me with a distance. In some minutes she gave me a small cover of fried rice grain mix with little jaggery and told me that was an offering to the god. She told me that I could eat that whole and asked me to go to queue now. It will start move fast it seems.  It was more like saying that go and join the queue than suggesting. It made me an extra push to get inside to the place where god idol located. Otherwise I would have go back home after reading.

I went straight to the queue and finish reading Vishnu incantation. After that I have started writing down Narayana in the note book I had. Slowly queue started moving fast and I have entered near to Guruvayoor idol and had a nice sight of god. I have prayed with full satisfaction. I have felt real joy od worship after quiet some time. These days wherever I pray, my mind always filled with unnecessary tension and anxiety but this time nothing this sort was happened.

I had came back home soon after this. I did talk to my father about this and he told me that god wanted me to get inside the temple. God would have came in as grandma or god made that grand ma to come and talk to me. Here again god knows who was that grandma ?? but I like to believe that she was sent by the god himself, there is high chance. Whenever I pray in the temple used to thank god for making me visit temple and request him to make it happen frequently as well.

From here I really want to be displined on my worship. God, please help me to that! be there with me to lead me to right direction!! help me to make a mark in this world and fulfill all my responsibility to my stars, family and society with full satisfaction !!!